This is the Life

   The life that I am privileged to lead up here in Alaska is a life like no other, but I suppose that can be said about any place in the world. Locations are as unique as individual people themselves. No two places are truly the same, and like people, some places leave a permanent imprint on your soul. 

    I found strength and perseverance in Fairbanks, gained an appreciation for solitude in Seward, and found hope in well.. Hope. Each place has taught me a lesson, and usually it is learned the hard way. Blood, sweat, piss and tears have gone into my growth as a human, I'm better for it too, a hands on learner as I say. The hardest learned lessons are the ones that tend to stick with you forever. Sometimes, most of the time, the lessons are a result of a new idea, a new passion... aka a failed avenue.

    So, process of elimination.... the paths I have gone down, the lessons have I learned... trail and error. Oh! Places, jobs, people.... no two are the same. It is my belief that a person has more than one soulmate, that applies to much more than just the matters of romance. The things that are just meant to be in one's life. The people, places, and things that have been waiting for you since the dawn of time... the tings you wont know that you were missing until you stumble upon them and life as you know it is changed... forever.

 Life is too short to waste it on unhappiness. I have ONE life to live and it already started out on the crappy side, so my journey is to find what makes me happiest for the remainder of however much life I have left. 

Update on life

Life, As We Don't Know It. 

    My life, the last few months.... I am fairly pissed that I failed to document the epic craziness that has been this year. The last 2 months ESPECIALLY. I've felt more emotions than I care to ever feel, I've learned many many lessons, and the tears have been ever-flowing. Life has KICKED MY ASS this past bit and if you know me, I laugh the entire way and I will most likely go out in search of more and harder lessons to learn. I wouldn't be me if I didn't.

    Many things have happened, I've had some good things, some bad things, some tragic things, and even one thing that made me contemplate if life itself is even real or if we really are in a matrix. My vices of whiskey, weed, and White Cheddar Cheetos Puffs has gone up and down like the tides. My weight has dropped way down, and coincidentally so has my wardrobe. Not a bad deal for an aspiring minimalist, I can fit myself as well as my belongings into some pretty small spaces now. Not a bad deal, I'd say.

    I have gained a sense of wanderlust. My plan of driving down to the lower 48 keeps twisting slowly into a dream of living a complete van life. Maybe a bus! Clifford, my daughter, and I. Although I am reminded that I have life and responsibilities to be putting first. If only there was a way to balance it all. Life throws it's own fair share of curve balls at us, why can't we throw a few of our own back at it? 

    Sometimes I wish I could be the perfect suburban housewife... I really do. Being a free spirit can be exhausting. There is something that keeps calling me though, a presence of mind that I need to keep moving and evolving. I feel like my journey is just starting, instead I am making plans to finish it? Am I giving up or is it actually time to call it and leave Alaska.

    I have my fair share of obstacles to overcome no matter if I stay here or if I leave. I have a few things going in my favor though, I have a paid off truck, and I have a puppy to keep me company. I have a fantastic support system here in Alaska now, and I cannot wait to make the journey back with my daughter. There are so many things that I want to show and share with her. In order to make that happen though, I need to have a much better camping setup... and a much better job. Well, a job in general. One day at a time though.